I asked a business owner what her services cost. I had already had this conversation with the front desk.
The owner looked confused and referred me to her billing agency.
I was not impressed.
A phone call later, I understood, and in the end decided to go with her, but I'll be honest with you, it was a toss-up. I could have walked away easily. It did not inspire confidence, that's for sure.
I don't like surprises – especially if it involves money. And, somehow, I don't think I am all that unusual.
If you are engaging with other people with financial matters, for your sake and theirs, BE CLEAR. It helps everyone.
Because we are putting in a new water line, I have a gi-normous hole in our yard. It looks like we are trying to bury someone / something – 4 feet long, two feet wide, and over 2 feet deep. As I walked by, my ducks waddled to get out of the way and our fat, clumsy female fowl fell in the hole.
Those of you who know my ducks know that they are a mis-matched pair of comedic relief. They are hilarious bits of feather and instinct. All quacks and fussing and not too many brains between the two. However, I was charmed as I watched the male duck volitionally jump in the hole – one he could not get out of (because domestic ducks cannot fly). He chose to place himself in a vulnerable and trapped situation, just so he could be near his mate. Even more heroic, when I got into the hole to lift them out, he spread his scrawny, bony wings across her in a protective gesture.
There are lots of arguments over the equality of men and women and battles over the various virtues of the sexes. And this blog post is not about all that. Really, I just have to say that I appreciated what I saw - a male choosing to be with and protect someone he cared about, even at the expense of his own safety. In a selfish world, this felt refreshingly selfLESS. And, whether this evolved over milennia or was created in an instant, at the end of the day, I credit God for the origin and design.
I know someone whose husband is making small, weak efforts to connect with her, to please her. They've been married twenty years today.
What does she do? Because his actions feel puny and she has felt so hurt by his insensitivity, she berates him, tells him how inadequate his efforts are. What does he do? He stops trying at all.
You really can understand both people's hurts and both's actions. Yet, if you want any meaningful changes to occur, you have to notice someone doing something positive and praise that action. We are, after all, really just children in adult bodies – we want to be noticed and praised.
There is an axiom of life here that relates to anyone:
Catch them in the behavior you want more of, and reinforce it like crazy. And then watch it grow.
I have animals. LOTS of animals. And they can get expensive.
The other day, I was talking to God about how to pay for the things that they need … I was mostly just musing, not really stressing, but I did sort of say, "How are we going to do this, God?" (Because I feel like it was mostly His responsibility to provide in some way – you know – He "cares for the sparrows" and all that).
Anyway, that very day, I had an animal-helper-type-person suggest a trade: something I could do, for what they could do. No exchange of money; just swap skills. Like in the olden days.
Sometimes I have to think about things, but occasionally, it is so very clear: do it.
So I said YES!
Trades are pretty awesome – and more possible than you think. You just have to be open to them.
