Opportunity
I talked with someone about what I perceived to be a loss; curiously, they saw it as an opportunity.
Only time will tell which of us was right.
But I have a sneaking suspicion that we both were.
Oh God, widen my field of vision ….
The You, Not You
I spent some time with friends recently where we shared childhood memories.
I am still that person from the stories – The way my eyes crinkle when I smile. My voracious appetite to learn. My passion for animals. My love of God.
But I am also that person no longer. I have grown beyond that insecure, boundary-less, naive young human. I have set down most of my black and white ideas. I have tasted more sorrow than I wish, I have learned and forgotten gigabytes of information.
In sharing those childhood experiences, I realize anew how they informed many of the values I now hold – some by example of what to aspire to, and others by example of what not to repeat. I left the evening rather pensive, thinking of the girl who is no longer, and yet, still is.
She is both encouraged by the distance traveled and wistful of the difficult roads involuntarily taken along the way. The path to adulthood is so much more arduous than one ever imagines as a child.
Try
I have a friend who trains horses and he often refers to "Try" – he wants a horse that will make an attempt for him. It doesn't matter that they are successful or that they do it well, just that they show some small effort. Over time, that honest activity will become success.
Over the weekend, I introduced someone I love to the notion of trying something new. She was visiting and I requested she bring her viola to "jam" with. Now, generally, "jam" is not the word that comes to mind with a stringed instrument! I asked my daughter to put on some popular music that we all knew and then we just messed around. What my "extra daughter" did not know was that she could intuitively pick out the key and harmony from any song. I knew she could do it, yet she had never attempted this before. My son joined us, so we now had a bass voice, a soprano, a viola, a cello, and the original artists, blasting. I gotta say, we sounded awesome.
It's pretty amazing to create magic you didn't know was within you.
Furthermore, it is intoxicating to know someone has a gift and then to help them express it.
This is what we bring to one another: our magic, and our bringing forth.
Do both of these consistently, and you will love your life.
Impostor
I was listening to a podcast that was describingthe voice in your head that tells you that you are an impostor … And I realized I hear that voice often.
There are people who would call that voice "The Resistance"
Others would say it originates in your "Lizard Brain" – the part of you that is primitive.
Still others would say it is the voice of "The Enemy" – Someone Evil, set against you.
Regardless of where this Voice originates, it must be fought, and contradicted.
"I am not a fraud, I am human.
Fallible, yet striving to be authentic.
I am each day, yielded to a Good God, more me than the day preceding.
Prince of Egypt
Last night we watched the Prince of Egypt out on the lawn. Every summer we do an animated movie outside – its like Throw-back Thursday, only instead of a photo, it is a movie.
It was interesting to hear the comments from the now-adult-children. One remarked how sad it was that the relationship between Ramses and Moses was so close and then became utterly broken. Another talked about how the songs tore into your soul.
Part of growing older is understanding about people's sorrow. It is absolutely heartbreaking. Yes, the wonders of Ancient Egypt were magnificent, but they were built at what cost? Absolutely the freedom of the Hebrew people was miraculous, but how many paid with their lives for that?
Beauty, Art, Freedom and even Perspective – all of these are precious. And each is expensive.
We honor individuals and history to recognize and remember this.