by Miriam | Jun 20, 2014 | Uncategorized
Why is it that we pressure people who are different from us to be the same as us?
What is it about our view that makes us think that we are the right one?
And why do we persist in engaging in behaviors that don't work? Even when we have used them over and over and they never worked the first time, let alone the fifteenth.
We humans are odd. If an animal is frustrated, they will try all sorts of different behaviors, trying to find the one that gets them the outcome they are looking for. When people are frustrated, they revert to behaviors that often are self-sabotaging. And it is a rare one who learns from their mistakes. Mostly, we just repeat them.
by Miriam | Jun 20, 2014 | Uncategorized
Practice random acts of kindness, and senseless acts of beauty.
It sounds good doesn't it?
Dallas Willard, in the Divine Conspiracy, challenges this (and other such popular sayings)
He disparages the saying and asks instead:
"What if you 'practice routinely purposeful acts of kindness and intelligent acts of beauty'? (italics mine)
He says our world has degraded to where what is truly profound is seen to be trival or boring and what is trivial appears to us as the profound. He says we are flying upside down.
When I see professional athletes being paid with so many zeros and we can't get decent teachers to stir up the minds of young people, I think he's right – we're head-down on a lot of subjects.
Or literally millions of pets being euthanized yearly, and a similar amount being created through irresponsible breeding …
Or land being gobbled up by lonely condominiums that stand empty, along with vacant office space …
Yes, we are end over end, upside down.
by Miriam | Jun 18, 2014 | Uncategorized
I recently was reading a marketing blog that was talking about a product and his question was, "Would they miss you if you were gone?" – In other words, bring something of value and create need or brand loyalty.
What are the items / products I miss when I can't obtain them?
But more importantly, WHO are those I miss when I don't have access to them?
And equally important – Do I live in such a way that I create a hole when I am absent?
I want to live in a way that I am value-added to the equation.
by Miriam | Jun 15, 2014 | Uncategorized
Driving in San Fransisco – the land of one-way streets.
Thank goodness for the mapish program on my phone! It has reduced stress and if you take a wrong turn, "Oh well …" because it just recalibrates.
If only we had this for relationships ….
Took a wrong turn? Said the wrong thing? Recalibrating. Turn here, say this.
I believe most friendships will allow you to re route. You just have to admit you're lost and be willing to sometimes change direction.
Do overs are amazing.
by Miriam | Jun 14, 2014 | Uncategorized
Someone I love is playing a piece on the piano which is also dear to my heart.
The music has deep meaning. Both because of the era I associate it with, and the persons I link to it.
The woman I have known for almost all her life also holds huge space in my heart.
When something becomes layered, internally it becomes like a science-fiction time-changing movie where the screen moves away from you, showing you the various images and eras all simultaneously.
So now, this music and experience currently means then and this present moment.
Along with this comes the complexity of all the emotions that coincide with each of the years as well.
We as people are intricate and interconnected.
I wonder if this explains why little children are full of joy – their experiences are singular and uncomplicated. With every ensuing year, our memories and experiences get "married" to other events – not all of which are simplistically pure and whole. There's an enormous amount of sadness that also gets woven into the good.
I was at a workshop where I was asked to proffer an "uncomplicated memory" – and quite honestly, I couldn't do it.
Perhaps one of our tasks as we age is to somehow see and grasp the layered nature of our experience and then volitionally choose to experience now as if it is the singular event – take the happy and skip with it; do we need to just hold voraciously onto that heart of a child?
And run with joy while the music lasts.
