by Miriam | Mar 3, 2014 | Uncategorized
SourceURL:file://localhost/Users/miriamgunn/writing/Mydeliberatelife/Change.doc
Change
I think we are fascinated, repelled, drawn, exhausted - by the subject of and act of change.
I can't tell you how many people I have heard say, "I hate change." Yet an equal amount of people get bored with the status quo. So it seems to be a confusing subject.
This weekend, I have been attending a conference in which the audience and the speakers are universally focused on intentional living – all of which requires aspects of personal growth within my thoughts, perspectives and actions.
It has me asking quite a few questions. How much is enough? What would something radical require of me? Do I have to go somewhere to achieve something great for the world (several of the speakers were doing various types of relief efforts in other countries across the globe). What is the balance of focusing on the problems / needs of the world, and enjoying the amazing blessings that my life affords? How do I live in the tension between self-care and selfishness.
One of the things I enjoyed most about this gathering is that the underlying worldview was very similar to my own, yet the application was quite different than the inspirational talks I am used to. What this allowed is for me to actually consider real application.
If you present someone with something too similar to what they already know and believe, it only produces agreement, not actual stretching. And if it is too different, they will reject it outright. This is good for me to remember, both on the receiving end, but also as I try to challenge others to give more thought to why and what they do …
by Miriam | Mar 1, 2014 | Uncategorized
From a conference I am attending …
1. Focus Outward (When it's all about you, it is not inspiring)
2. Be Yourself (Authentic and true to your higher goals)
3. Be Relevant (Be a student of the world)
4. Start Local, Teach Global
Much to unpack, and much to think about.
by Miriam | Feb 28, 2014 | Uncategorized
I was on a plane recently where this man and woman were conversing over the engine noise, across an isle, and over their traveling companions. (They both were in the middle seats). A sentence or two would not have been worrysome, but they talked THE WHOLE FLIGHT. I could hear every word of their vacuous conversation Even through my highly rated earplugs,
Question: in any given situation, are you aware of how you impact the people around you?
by Miriam | Feb 27, 2014 | Uncategorized
When faced with a difficult situation where information will create conflict, it is oh so tempting to remain silent, even though it takes much more energy to not be forthright. Whether you call it telling half-truths, witholding information, or lying by omission, anything short of true disclosure requires significant concentration on your part to keep it hidden.
Few people enjoy conflict and our ability as humans to avoid it is the stuff of legends. Yet, usually, as they say, the truth eventually comes out, compounding your situation with not only the original issue, but also now the fallout from the secret-keeping – hurt feelings. The sense of being betrayed. Or not-trusted. Anger toward you. It really is better just to be directly honest.
Really, I think most well-adjusted people already know this.
However, something that many people don't know is that the calmer you remain while sharing the information, they quieter the other person will also be.
We have in our brain mirror neurons – these cells cause us to mimic what we experience. Haven't you ever lost your voice and as you whisper, suddenly everyone around you whispers in return? (This is actually a fun trick to play on people – just start whispering and see if they can resist the temptation to make their voices much quieter). If you talk loudly, usually the other person does as well. If you insult them, expect to receive some slurs. If you exhibit signs of anxiety or fear, often, the other person will also experience these emotions. And, if you remain calm, they will too, or at least be much calmer than they would be if you had become agitated. If you speak with respect, generally, the other person will return the favor.
So, don't avoid that thing that needs to be spoken, but, by all means, do it calmly and with dignity. And let the truth set you free. It really does.
by Miriam | Feb 26, 2014 | Uncategorized
It's free! No obligation!
If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.
So an official apology for the ads that come with the blog. I am working on remedy-ing that. I've been reading quite a bit about business ethics – how for some it is all about money and for others it is about bringing something of value to the customer AND making money.
It seems you can offer a service at an entry level and please your customers so much that they WANT to upgrade, and then, conversely, you can make the entry level so unpalatable that they almost HAVE to upgrade. The first feeling breeds loyalty and the second, resentment.
So the company that sends you my blog is tied to the blog host – they are all sneaky and made this partnership – kind of like when you play monopoly with your buddies and then find out your friends have made all sorts of deals with each other while you were in the bathroom.
So, because, while I am in love with technology, I am also intimidated by it sometimes and this made me not shop around, I grabbed the partnership because it was easy (which, of course, is what they intended). Then, the naughty feed people gave me a free trial of the premium service, forcing me to downgrade at a later time, to avoid the premium prices. (Of course, they didn't tell me what the premium service cost and trying to find anything on their web site feels like hacking through a thick jungle). I finally managed to downgrade, with the help of the stellar online chat people … who neglected to tell me that as soon as I downgraded, they went away like the fun out of 2 day-old-heilum balloons.
So … now I find I have this CRAPPY feed service full of unwanted ads and I cant get anyone to tell me how to fix the problem, tempting me to upgrade out of sheer frustration, which is exactly what the company wants. How do you think this makes me feel about them?
Pure HATRED. If I knew how to get someone else to do it without making all of you re-subscribe, I would do it in a heartbeat. Do they really think I will be singing their praises to others? Referring other business to them?
Not so much.
And, not a good business model.
Bring value to those around you, and they will remain loyal at all costs.
Bring hassles, and they will curse you. Yes, FeedBlitz, I'm talking about you.
