by Miriam | Feb 25, 2014 | Uncategorized
I have a tendency to wake up at 2 or 3 a.m. and then often can’t return to sleep until 5 or 6 in the morning. This used to really frustrate me; I felt exhausted, out of control, and generally crabby.
At some moment in time, I stopped fighting this, and accepted that this is who I am. I read something once about how Leonardo DaVinci used to go to bed quite early (like sundown-ish) and he would sleep until 1 or 2 am and then get up and work on whatever project he was into at the moment for four hours, and then return to bed for another four.
He still got his full 8, just not in a conventional manner. And, if you know anything about him, he lived to a ripe old age, and is considered to be absolutely brilliant in multiple fields.
Point #1: There is not just one way to approach life; sometimes a different approach will work better for you.
Point #2: It is way easier to accomplish things when you are uninterrupted. Who is going to bother you at 3:00 a.m?
While I am not going to utilize my middle-of–the-night a la Da Vinci, I do think there is something to be said for those awake minutes. Once I stopped fighting the not-sleeping-ness, my interior became more serene. I found if I had an issue, I could say to myself, “You are not going to solve this tonight, yet, let it simmer for a while, and I’m sure the answer will come to you.”
Those of you who use crock pots know that if you leave it on high for very long, the dish usually burns on the bottom and edges. However, if you set it on low, everything eventually becomes more tender. I believe ideas can be like this. If you obsess over the thoughts, the mental energy is too intense; you get almost fossilized and tough in your thought patterns. However, if you gently place the concerns into your mental slow cooker and let them bubble away for a while . . . it is so much more likely that you will experience “Ah Ha!s” and the fall-off-the-bone-type creativity that we all want. Generally, thoughts I place in the Brain Pot in the middle of the night are done about the time I am taking my morning shower (this is where I get all my good ideas).
Point #3: If you are kind and gentle with yourself, usually, you don’t get burned.
Point #4: You can metaphorize anything. This is the beauty of the English language!
by Miriam | Feb 24, 2014 | Uncategorized
There comes a time when you are wrong and rather than blame others or justify your position (even if those factors are real)-
Apologize and make amends.
You will feel so much better and so will they. Believe, me, I know. I just experienced this very recently!
by Miriam | Feb 23, 2014 | Uncategorized
I'm sitting right now listening to my favorite classical music – Maurice Andre' – I don't even know what it is entitled (as I lost the CD long ago and it is in my computer only by the composer), but I have listened to it as a child, when I wished to be thoughtful, as a college student when I was desperately trying to stuff my brain with whatever was needed for the test. I listened when my children were babies. During my seasons of soul death, it has comforted me, like a soft blanket. Whenever I wish to be creative, I play this music, as I am right now.
However, as beautiful as the compositions are, none-the-less, the painting I am working on is struggling. Seeking help, I am taking a break and reading "An Artist's Way of Seeing" by Mary Whyte. She says:
"The colors of our life are always with us. We are made of them, and they are made of us. The night my mother died, a full moon filled the sky with a gentle violet, the color of an orchid in its deepest, hidden part. I stood at the window with the realization that my mother was gone, but that I would always have that color of the sky. Now, on similar evenings, when the moon and the clouds are just so, and the moonlight touches the marsh and turns it to silver, I feel my mother tip-toeing past me."
Isn't that beautiful? She writes in a way that lets us see, lets us feel what she is experiencing.
Part of the reason this blog exists, is to nurture the artistic/creative side in me, and hopefully in you as well. So much of my adult existence has been about productivity; or better stated, efficiency. Yet neither mystery, nor the magical resides here.
However, enchantment abounds in moonlight and gentle violet colors of the sky.
What must we do in order to give ourselves permission to see the world not as a commodity or as a 'to do' list, but rather, to see the Beauty and Life all around us and, furthermore, or more importantly, IN US? Perhaps it is enough just to bring it up . . . and let the notion have its way with us.
by Miriam | Feb 21, 2014 | Uncategorized
I was listening to a radio show about finance management today, in between errands as I ran around feverishly buying groceries for a University retreat that I am an advisor for that is happening this weekend.
The caller was explaining that they had just paid off $180, 000 of debt in two years. It was student loans, car loans, a 2nd mortgage on the house, some medical bills, credit card loans … at one point, these people finally got fed up with owing everyone and their dog. I think it was autonomy they desired.
So, they set their faces to the wind, and they got focused.
When the host asked them how they did it, the woman said, "You just have to get intentional about everything. It all has to be about the goal of freedom."
They have my admiration, because it cost them dearly to pay off that debt (pun intended).
But it it is not just finances that many of us are in bondage to. And, while it is somewhat easier to attain financial independence than emotional equality, (because money is so concrete – 'Are you in debt or aren't you?' That is a yes or no answer, where as, 'Are you relationally equal?' is much more difficult to quantify), still, emotional liberty is attainable and through the very same methods.
You just have to get intentional about everything. It all has to be about the goal of freedom.
by Miriam | Feb 21, 2014 | Uncategorized
I stopped in at my vet's to pick up some drugs for one of our animals and caught him in the middle of spaying a dog. I asked him if he ever thought about how many times he had done that, which led to a discussion of Malcolm Gladwell's idea of the 10,000 hours required for mastery of an activity.
This vet and I were having a lively conversation, all the while he retracted, cut, requested 3.0 silk and sewed on his patient, never missing a step. Because he has done hundreds of spays.
As I left the office, I was musing on the notion of proficiency. I always say to my children (much to their annoyance) that 'what you practice is what you become.' It is implied in Gladwell's writings that these are desired behaviors we are mastering.
So what if the activity is UNdesireable?
Think about it. I wonder if old people are set in their ways not so much because they can't change, but because they have done that particular action thousands of iterations and it is just rote now. It takes no effort for them to act in the patterned way, but enormous energy to do something different. Perhaps it is simply economy of effort.
So how often do we practice selfishness? Snapping at the other person and making excuses for it – those reasons might be true – you really might be exhausted or anxious or whatever. But you have now just put one more hash mark into your "number of times you have practiced poor conduct."
Insults. Abuse. Violence. Rudeness. Defensiveness. Closed Mindedness. Everytime you do something, you become just that much more masterful of that action and it's all the easier to pull off the next occasion you elect to do it.
It kind of makes you want to get more intentional about your everyday choices, doesn't it?
