The latest book I am reading: Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change.
Which of us doesn't want to be an influencer?
Whether it is with the art we create, the words we speak or write, the actions we take or choose to not enact … we are not only trying to direct our individual lives, but we are also trying to say to others: Come with me!
I find the whole notion intriguing and exciting. Last year, I remember writing a journal entry that talked about the fatigue I was experiencing regarding what I coined "Persuasion Fatigue" – I was (and still am) absolutely drained / exhausted from the notion of trying to get people to do "x" – from taking better care of their animals to doing a better job of developing their souls.
Yet this notion of influencing is somehow different – it excites me.
I wonder if it is because persuading seems to stem from energy from me directed AT you. The other seems to come from energy eminating FROM me – from who I am.
The lines are blurry and there is much cross-over – and perhaps I am just splitting hairs and playing with semantics; yet I think somehow, this is an important distinction – at least for me. I am tired of shoulds and agendas in general.
Yet I never tire of receiving positive influence.
When you bring YOU to the table – with as few agendum as possible … and I know this is difficult, because we all have so many agendi that we aren't even aware we bring … yet I think perhaps there is some magic in bringing the part of you that picks up trash as you walk – not to guilt the other person into doing it, but because you are compelled to, for the sake of our tired planet … and now your companion does it too. Or when you praise your child for their tender heart, because you can't help but do so and the other parent hanging out with you grows in the compassion & praise of their child as well.
I remember a time years ago when I was in another country on a tour and a man was begging close to where we were. I didn't know what to do; In America, often begging supports drug and alcohol abuse, and I didn't want to contribute to this. Our guide walked over and gave the man some money and said, "It is not like in your country. These people have nothing and no government who helps them. They are destitute." His simple explanation and generosity freed me to also be so. And, actually, seveal others in the group did as well – not through persuasion, but through influence.
A sentence from the book:
"They [these profoundly influential people the book was highlighting] think about influencing behavior, talk about it, and practice it, and all of them have created remarkable change in domains where failure has been the norm, often for decades."
If you could change one thing by modeling it … what would it be?
Well … hop to it! And so will I, and we will see where we find ourselves a few years from now … perhaps someone will be writing books about us!