We like to foster a litter of puppies each summer – generally pups don't do well in shelters; they catch things like kennel cough and often they don't gain weight. It's just too stressful for them. Because of this, the Humane Society tries to outsource their puppies. For us, it's a great way to enjoy the birth-to-young-dog-experience without adding to the surplus canine population. And who doesn't like sweet, cuddly puppies? Last year we had a litter of ten – TOO MANY! This time, it is only three. Jessica named them Spike, Wordy, and Ed.
Wordy Spike Ed
Look at these guys – they appear compliant and sweet. Don't believe their cute mugs for a second. One day at our house and they are biting everything and everyone. They were barkless, until I brought our dog out and then they became little shrill yappers. I'm telling you, they look all innocent. Give them three minutes unsupervised, and I can guarentee some serious mischief. I feel sorry for their prospective owners, because these little hooligans are trouble in the making.
I usually am suckered into really wanting at least one of the puppies we foster. But having done this several times now, I am wiser than I used to be. Spending time with these guys, makes me think of all the people I know who became romantically involved with someone else after knowing them for a very short time, based on first impressions. And now they are sorry. Because who they thought the other person was is not actually who the other person IS. You need multiple exposures in different settings to see the whole of a person.
This is why it is wise to wait before committing; to a romantic relationship, a volunteer position, a friendship, a pet.
Know what you're getting into first, THEN commit with all you have. So much better than vice versa. Because when you commit with all you have and then later you find out what you've gotten into … usually you are pretty unhappy and feel trapped and want out. Just sayin.
"I went to my doctor to get a refil on all my prescriptions to help with anxiety and depression and I found myself saying, 'it's all situational.' It was then that I realized that in the last 12 months, nothing had actually changed."
This was something someone said to me recently. And she is right – when you are in exactly the same place a year later, you can be assured that nothing has changed and if all keeps the same, you will be in the same place a year from now.
If you want something different, DO someting different. It's the only way to bring about meaningful change.
We are painting our house – I have to say, I love the color – a deep, brick / barn red. The folks who previously owned the home stopped by the other day and I asked them what they thought of the new paint job.
I was saddened that they didn't like it. They didn't say so directly, but it was pretty obvious.
I wonder if part of the reason they weren't so keen on it is that it was one more erasure of the years they had spent here. They lived on the property for almost 50 years and raised 4 kids in this house. Ruth wandered around the yard, interested in what plants were still there that she had chosen years ago. There is an old barn toward the back of the lot that was the original homesteading cabin, circa 1886 ish. Russ, the previous owner, knew the names of the original folks and said, "Oh, the stories that cabin could tell …" I wished he had had time to relay them to me.
We all want our time on this planet to matter. We want to leave something lasting.
As the new replaces what used to be, there is some sadness and then comes the question of "Will I be remembered?" I think we fool ourselves if we don't think that this is important to us.
Do you know what you are trying to leave? Because what you leave really starts today. And everyday from this day forward. These thoughts cause me to reflect on my attitudes and actions. Because five years from when you are dead, mostly people remember the big strokes. He was generous. She was naggy. He was angry all the time. She was creative.
I need to smile more. Laugh more. Hug more. I want to be remembered as someone who cared for God's favor and people's hearts, someone who was approachable and made people feel seen. Someone who was creative, unique, and interesting.
I want my impact to last longer than the new color of my house.
I asked a business owner what her services cost. I had already had this conversation with the front desk.
The owner looked confused and referred me to her billing agency.
I was not impressed.
A phone call later, I understood, and in the end decided to go with her, but I'll be honest with you, it was a toss-up. I could have walked away easily. It did not inspire confidence, that's for sure.
I don't like surprises – especially if it involves money. And, somehow, I don't think I am all that unusual.
If you are engaging with other people with financial matters, for your sake and theirs, BE CLEAR. It helps everyone.
Because we are putting in a new water line, I have a gi-normous hole in our yard. It looks like we are trying to bury someone / something – 4 feet long, two feet wide, and over 2 feet deep. As I walked by, my ducks waddled to get out of the way and our fat, clumsy female fowl fell in the hole.
Those of you who know my ducks know that they are a mis-matched pair of comedic relief. They are hilarious bits of feather and instinct. All quacks and fussing and not too many brains between the two. However, I was charmed as I watched the male duck volitionally jump in the hole – one he could not get out of (because domestic ducks cannot fly). He chose to place himself in a vulnerable and trapped situation, just so he could be near his mate. Even more heroic, when I got into the hole to lift them out, he spread his scrawny, bony wings across her in a protective gesture.
There are lots of arguments over the equality of men and women and battles over the various virtues of the sexes. And this blog post is not about all that. Really, I just have to say that I appreciated what I saw - a male choosing to be with and protect someone he cared about, even at the expense of his own safety. In a selfish world, this felt refreshingly selfLESS. And, whether this evolved over milennia or was created in an instant, at the end of the day, I credit God for the origin and design.
I know someone whose husband is making small, weak efforts to connect with her, to please her. They've been married twenty years today.
What does she do? Because his actions feel puny and she has felt so hurt by his insensitivity, she berates him, tells him how inadequate his efforts are. What does he do? He stops trying at all.
You really can understand both people's hurts and both's actions. Yet, if you want any meaningful changes to occur, you have to notice someone doing something positive and praise that action. We are, after all, really just children in adult bodies – we want to be noticed and praised.
There is an axiom of life here that relates to anyone:
Catch them in the behavior you want more of, and reinforce it like crazy. And then watch it grow.
